Chelsea is not in a serious relationship.
Nothing good seems to be on the horizon. Sometimes she thinks finding and maintaining a relationship isn’t worth the hassle.
Chelsea is relatively successful and enjoys life most of the time. If she is being completely honest, though, she wants to feel that finding a good relationship is possible. Getting to that point feels overwhelming.
Does she need to spend more time making an online dating profile? Is she no fun at parties? Is it easier to forget about the whole thing?
Maybe you’re struggling with finding a healthy relationship, too.
Do you want to know what’s stopping you from finding that special person? Or, from at least having a positive dating experience?
Here are the top signs that anxiety is stopping you from finding a relationship, along with solutions for each obstacle.
The Four Ways Anxiety Is Stopping You From Finding a Relationship (And What to Do About It)
1. Anxiety stops you because… You only stick to what you know.
If you suffer from anxiety, you might keep too close to what is familiar. This might feel comfortable, but it limits you, it bores you, and it feeds anxiety further. (For more on solutions to this, check out my article, Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone: 6 Steps to Stop Anxiety and Live a Full Life).
You may be unaware of the assumptions your mind is making about the world and how that limits you from finding a relationship. Anxiety might be stopping you from maturing into a healthier or happier version of yourself.
So, visit a new place or learn a new skill. Challenge your view on a type of person or a type of experience. It’s not just about meeting new people; it’s more about broadening your view of the world and your awareness and appreciation for yourself and your surroundings.
2. Anxiety stops you because… You’ve convinced yourself you’re okay with waiting around.
It’s not healthy to plan your entire life around finding a relationship, and climbing your tall tower to wait for your prince or princess to arrive doesn’t work either. Not only does either approach harm your dating life, but it means that you may be experiencing less about life in general.
Do you run into the arms of the wrong person every time? Or, do you hide from any potential romantic interaction?
You may be waiting around (or trying too hard) because you have become used to expecting failure. When you meet someone new, don’t think about the end goal being love, or even a date. Just talk to a person you wouldn’t normally reach out to, or make a new friend based on an interest you share.
Taking action in your life will help you to discover new possibilities. You’ll enjoy more positive friends and more members of the opposite sex, which in turn will make you more comfortable connecting with new, higher quality potential partners.
3. Anxiety stops you because… You trust your worries more than yourself.
You may have had bad experiences in the past.
Your relationship past is an important part of your life story. However, the past may try to dictate your future. Take some time to understand your experiences so that you can leave the past in the past.
Trust is key in any relationship, and that starts with you – practicing trust in yourself and in others.
Practice identifying a fear or a limiting belief when the thought or reaction occurs in your mind or body. Distinguish these things from what you really believe about yourself and the world. Say “Thanks, but no thanks!” to fears that don’t serve you.
Build trust in yourself by doing the things that you believe will help you grow.
4. Anxiety stops you because… You’re not taking charge of your life.
Are you blaming the world for your situation, in your love life or otherwise? Your negative attitude is a turn off. Take care of yourself so that you can be available for positive things to come.
Easier said than done?
If it feels too difficult or inauthentic to face the day with hopes, concentrate first on gratitude. Take time each morning and before you go to bed to appreciate something about yourself, your life, and the people in it.
Find positive and active people to surround yourself with to stay away from the habit of complaining. You’ll start to notice many positive changes in your life.
… Are you really open to a relationship, or is your anxiety closing you off from the world?
If you are like Chelsea from the story above, you’ll learn that finding a healthy relationship can take some time and effort, but the hassle and stress will melt away if you make some key changes and reduce anxiety.
Don’t hesitate to access help with fears surrounding past, present, or potential future situations. This is your life, and you deserve to be free from worry. You deserve to be loved. And there is no better time than now to start.